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August 27, 2013
7 Signs You're Dating the Right Person
Posted: 08/23/2013 5:09 pm
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Opposites attract, so you should date someone who's nothing like you. But wait a minute, isn't it important to date someone with a similar background, values and goals? There is so much conflicting advice out there, how can you possibly figure out who to date? It's true that the qualities in a person that differ from yours can add balance and excitement to a relationship. Problems arise when there are too many opposing character traits. Research has shown that the more compatible you are with your mate, the more successful your relationship will be.
Following are seven areas of compatibility to look for when choosing a partner. Of course they don't all have to line up perfectly, but the more aligned you two are, the better the relationship.
7 Signs You're Dating the Right Person
1. Temperament: Do you get along well most of the time or find that he/she irritates you on a regular basis? Do you find yourself saying, "If only she'd think before she spoke," or "I wish he'd be less lazy,"? Is he overly anxious? Does her alphabetized music collection make your skin crawl? What you see is what you get, so if you don't like a lot of what you see, don't try to fix the other person's personality. Find someone whose temperament is more compatible with yours.
2. Communication Style: Are you direct or indirect in conveying what's important to you? Are you passive while she's assertive? Do you hold things in until you explode or speak your mind clearly and directly? In a good relationship, you communicate your needs to each other on a regular basis. If you can both communicate well and in a similar fashion, you'll have a much higher chance at a successful relationship.
3. Friends and Family: Do you like and get along with each other's friends and family? Do you agree about how much time to devote to both? If this is a stressful topic, one that you can't easily resolve, it will potentially have a very negative affect on your relationship.
3. Friends and Family: Do you like and get along with each other's friends and family? Do you agree about how much time to devote to both? If this is a stressful topic, one that you can't easily resolve, it will potentially have a very negative affect on your relationship.
4. Nutrition and Fitness: Are you a gluten-free vegan while he is a Big Mac addict? Do you surf the waves on the weekend, while she's home surfing the web? This may seem like a minor point, but think about how many meals you will share with each other. How do your mate's food choices and attention to fitness align with your lifestyle and values? If you're not a good match in this arena, you will probably have challenges in your relationship.
5. Financial: Many people say that they are seeking a mate who is financially secure. In today's volatile financial market, financial security is not something you can count on. A more appropriate question is, are you and your partner united in being responsible with finances. Are you both generous? Do you both contribute to charities? Money is something that couples fight about most often. It is helpful if you share similar financial goals and habits.
6. Education: Couples who share similar backgrounds in education, life and professional experience are better suited for each other. They have more in common and can relate to each other in a deeper way. They are on the same wavelength and truly 'get' each other.
7. Intimacy: There are many things that come under the category of intimacy, including romance and public display of affection. Some couples have different sexual needs, which can lead to anger and resentment. A very essential component of a lasting loving relationship includes having similar ideas about frequency and style of intimacy. So if you're more 50 Shades and she's "Ms. Low Libido", you will have some issues in the bedroom.
7. Intimacy: There are many things that come under the category of intimacy, including romance and public display of affection. Some couples have different sexual needs, which can lead to anger and resentment. A very essential component of a lasting loving relationship includes having similar ideas about frequency and style of intimacy. So if you're more 50 Shades and she's "Ms. Low Libido", you will have some issues in the bedroom.
What can you do if you are not compatible?
1. Accept things as they are
2. Work on yourself and the relationship
3. Leave the relationship.
1. Accept things as they are
2. Work on yourself and the relationship
3. Leave the relationship.
Remember that the only person you can change is yourself. Your partner will only change if they want to.
If you are dating to find a lasting, loving relationship, it is much better to choose a compatible partner now than to try and fix something that is broken later. Don't be afraid to let go of the wrong person if your basic needs are not met. There are millions of singles in the world. Move on and find a better fit. And make sure to use the most powerful four-letter word in dating: "Next"!
For more dating advice and a copy of my free report, "The Top Three Mistakes Midlife Daters Make (and how to turn them around to find love now)" please click here.
For exclusive articles and tips on dating, relating and mating in midlife & updates on my weekly radio show, please 'like' my Facebook page.
Follow Sandy Weiner on Twitter: www.twitter.com/@lastfirstdate1
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2 hours ago ( 9:54 PM)
I wish I saw this before I married my two ex-wives.!
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3 hours ago ( 9:03 PM)
I'm not too picky. As long as she's not contagious and has no outstanding warrants, there's hope.
5 hours ago ( 6:47 PM)
2735 pointers you can use to have a successful 364th relationship
5 hours ago ( 6:22 PM)
8. Similar life goals. If his five year plan is to have $50 000 down payment for a house and hers is to get engaged, have a $25 000 wedding and have a baby, you are bound to butt heads somewhere along the way. Without sharing similar goals, one or both ends up giving in, and that can ultimately lead to resentment. Resentment kills relationships.
6 hours ago ( 6:15 PM)
Okay, read this but like anyone who has been involved in relationships I have my own personal views.The fun of finding the right person is that you use your instincts and don't rush things. As for using a tick list, what has that to do with anyone's emotions? Emotional responses need to be measured rather than discovering theat you both like the same movie, something you will inevitably share with millions of others!
Relationships are about allowing a little private piece of yourself to be communicated to a potential partner and their doing exactly the same. There is absolutely no need to rush anything if your senses are telling you this is the "one".
Don't be motivated simply by sex, since that is very temporary when you're with the wrong person.
Good luck.
6 hours ago ( 5:21 PM)
#8 they have a dog
7 hours ago ( 4:59 PM)
If you seriously need this list to ensure yourself... I feel for you
10 hours ago ( 1:33 PM)
#8: The most compatible person I've ever met is myself. After wandering all these years I've decided to date myself; and there's no going back. Bye Bye to heartache.
9 hours ago ( 2:40 PM)
I give it a month
3 hours ago ( 9:13 PM)
If I take your screen name literally, I see why you're enough for you ;)
11 hours ago (12:43 PM)
#8...you don't need an article from hp to convince you it's the right person :)
12 hours ago (12:16 PM)
So look for someone with a mom that I can get along with got it, it will be easy for him, I have no family, but my exhusbands. Well, my family is in New York and I don't visit them, because well, my own fault there.
12 hours ago (12:08 PM)
8. Neither of you ever wants to get married, as you both realize this will definitely kill your relationship within 5 years.
10 hours ago ( 1:33 PM)
Nonsense.
10 hours ago ( 2:18 PM)
As Lincoln said, "you can always tell a fool, but you can't tell him much." Get married, and remember this conversation when you write the first check for $10,000 to your divorce lawyer in five years.
4 hours ago ( 7:34 PM)
50% of the time.....he is right
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12 hours ago (11:38 AM)
That list is a bit like the compatibility lists I have found on dating sites. Yea...that's right.....I'm 70 and trying to date. OK...now all you kids can laugh. The problem I have found is that no matter how compatible I seem to be with some gal it never feels right. But I think it feels wrong because I keep comparing the gals to my mate who passed away. She and I were about as different as you can get. It seems like the only thing we had in common was being from the same planet. Maybe its a generation thing...We certainly had our battles, but what I learned was I would rather be happy than right.
10 hours ago ( 1:35 PM)
I am 72 and married 49+ years... it is a generational thing. ;)
6 hours ago ( 6:05 PM)
Clearly you must be generating something pretty good.
9 hours ago ( 3:13 PM)
Don't give up. My widowed mother-in-law, also in her 70s, found a great guy and they're having an awesome time. Have been together a couple of years now...
13 hours ago (10:55 AM)
Mark the spot: This is the place where romance died.
13 hours ago (10:27 AM)
"7 Signs You're Dating the Right Person"I can boil it down to one! You know you're dating the right person if you don't need a third party to tell you you're dating the right person.
6 hours ago ( 6:16 PM)
Oh so true.
13 hours ago (10:23 AM)
Little irritations in the beginning will become larger and larger as time goes on.
12 hours ago (11:52 AM)
agreed. you should never try to CHANGE someone. if you can't get over the toothpaste cap being left of the toothpaste - it will become something that channels bigger problems.MOST POPULAR
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