This Brilliant Instagram Chef Is Making Junk Food Look Like Fine Dining
Because wouldn’t you rather have Hawaiian bagel bites than scallops?
posted on April 3, 2015, at 1:18 a.m.
A new Instagram account is brilliantly skewering the small portions and elaborate plating of high dining by making junk food look like a five-star meal.
This one is made out of a Hostess cupcake with rainbow Dunk-A-Roos, yogurt raisins, Nibz, and Starbucks mocha frappe caviar with a tiny mint “and a piece of fancy moss.”
The anonymous owner of the account pokes fun at their crappy palette by using the pseudonym “Chef Jacques Lamerde.” If you speak French, you get it.
Gummy dinosaurs, purple Go-Gurt crema with a chopped up creamsicle and Powerade gel.
And the chef is great at making total junk look super fancy. For example, look at this delicious Lunchables kielbasa w/ pickle spheres, pork rinds, tostitos salsa con queso fluid gel, and powdered cheese from boxed mac and cheese.
The chef said its too early for their garden, so they had to “forage” this “Dolé” salad from the Piggly-Wiggly.
It’s also got Spam torchon with fuzzy peaches, white cheese balls, and nuts with local greens.
How about some SpongeBob SquarePants “zoodles?”
Plus Pogos with marble cheese slices, honey ham rosettes, and mustard tears.
Or some surprisingly appealing Hot Pockets?
Made with “Hidden Valley bacon ranch spheres and a puree of zoodles.”
Kinder eggs may be illegal in the U.S., but Chef Jacques has got them on lock.
He said he got ‘em through a “sweet hook up from the San Salvador black market” and filled one with raw cake batter, “romanced with charred Rice [K]rispies, PB, goji + mesquite powder.”
You thought Bagel Bites were tasty? You’ve never seen them like this.
These Hawaiian Bagel Bites also have Cheetos, a baby carrot and ranch puree, small vegetables, and chipotle.
Here’s an Easter-themed delicacy.
It has graham cracker pastry cream, “generic brand chocolate cake from the freezer section,” banana popsicle chunks, muscle milk spheres, Peeps, and Gusher crudo.
Now go enjoy a Pop-Tart with the pride of someone eating a filet mignon.
Or you could enjoy this raspberry Pop-Tart parfait that includes a vanilla snackpack and Grape Crush-scented gel with “enhanced Mike & Ikes,” Cry Babies, and fruity Mentos.
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