The 1-Second Trick to Win Her Over
Just smile, buddy.
Did something dumb just slip from your mouth? Quick, smile before trying to talk your way out of it! According to new research published in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, women are more likely to rely on body language (i.e. a smile) than on what they hear (that stupid thing you just said).
Researchers asked a man to make sexist comments, then studied the impact of his smile on women in different scenarios. The results: Even if the guy’s words weren’t so attractive, if he was smiling, the women were more likely to lighten up than if he didn’t flash a grin.
What gives? Research suggests women can be at least 60 percent better than men at reading body language, says Patti Wood, author of Snap: Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language, and Charisma. This could be partially because women have relied on body language more than you (mainly to nurture kids before they became verbal). Women also prefer to communicate face to face, so they focus on facial expressions, Wood says. (Learn more secrets from the fairer sex when you discover What Every Woman Wants.)
So remember: Next time you make a flub—gossiping about your boss in front of his executive assistant, or saying anything other than “No!” when your girlfriend asks you if she looks fat—just shut up and show your teeth. ”Smiling is the single most important body language cue to indicate friendliness and safety,” says Wood.
In fact, when you see a real smile—that’s when the face lifts up, and creases form around the eyes—you automatically see that person in a positive light. It’s how your brain is wired.
And while we can’t guarantee that an upside-down frown will solve all of your problems, you can gauge your own success. Look for “open body windows” to see if she’s relaxing, says Wood. Eye contact, unfolded arms, and her heart, pelvis, knees, or feet facing you are all signs that’s she’s open to what you have to say. (Want more cool tips like these delivered straight to your inbox? Sign up for the FREE Daily Dose newsletter!)
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